Sunday, April 27, 2008

It has been awhile

My it has been quite awile; I have been neglecting my blog. I don't have anything deep to say but wanted to update my blog before my vast number of readers (about 4 or so) tire and move on.

I have been extremely busy the last few weeks. I have five kids (as I said in my introduction to my blog) and homeschool four of them. Two of my boys, the diabetic one referred to in my previous blog, and the one just younger then him were both entered in the district History Day. My oldest won a gold medal in his category and my other son won a silver medal (on his first time in the contest). Getting both of them ready interrupted our school schedule and I have been working hard at catching up ever since. BTW, this Wednesday they will both be showing their projects at the state competition. If either one wins, we'll have to scrape together money for a trip to DC. We'll see.

I teach CCD. Today was the last day for this school year. It is quite a relief. I started the year as an assistant, became the "craft lady", assisted teaching, and ended the year as the main teacher. The transition was deliberate as I am the only first grade teacher returning next year. That put a strain on things also.

I am my third son's Scout leader. The den leader they started with is in the military and was called to work so much that the boys had no meetings for over a month. Guess who stepped in? I just couldn't see them not having scouts. So, that was quite stressful as I have never been a Bear leader (I was a WeBeLoS leader for four years--two years for each of my older sons) before. I had to learn from scratch and on my own. No stress there at all. ;-(

I have few friends. I really don't know why. It seems I am usually expected to be the one to work at the friendship not them. But I can't do it. I need them to be at least 50/50--at least. Those friends are hard to find. I wrote a whole paragraph of complaints about "friends" and acquaintances but decided against publishing them because I know of at least one who actually reads my blog. So I think it prudent that I not air my complaints here as that will leave me no friends. So, as I have been 90% of my homeschool experience, am alone again (naturally ;-).

I considered teaching vacation bible school but I have changed my mind. I soooo desperately need a break. Besides, no matter how much one tries to say anything about using a Catholic program (there are at least a dozen that I am personally aware of) instead of a white washed protestant one, no one listens. If you want to teach children that they are part of the True Church Christ founded, why use the same program (with a few Catholic things like a paragraph about a saint and prayers) that the Baptist Church down the street used last year? What better way to send the message to our kids that it really doesn't matter which church you attend--it is all the same right?

My daughter will receive her First Communion soon. I have made her a beautiful dress designed by her. Of course you've got to have detractors. Someone asked me (because their daughter is close to the same age but more advanced in home school--which I don't believe in doing at that age--junior high/high school, maybe) why I was pushing her so soon? After all she was keeping her daughter in the proper grade in CCD. My daughter is seven, she is in second grade, and very intelligent. She meets all requirements and has done beautifully in class. Her teacher said she is an exceptional and bright student. What more can I expect of her? What more proof that she is ready? I should make her wait because the other mother did? I am not quite sure what that's about.

I have to try to wrap up school by the third week in June. The two younger ones will have no problem, but my eighth grader--that is another story. He is sweet and special but he really lives in his own world in his own time zone. No amount of cajoling will bring him back to this world. I worry about him alot. He will absolutely have to find a career that will enhance or appreciate his finer attributes. He really wants to go to college now; A college where he can learn to program, animate, and create. I pray to God that this can come about.

I have been working very, very hard at changing my temperment and projecting more of my Christianity into the world. I don't seem to get any credit for it from my husband or my couple of friends. But I have noticed, now that I have changed my attitude, that complete strangers react differently to me now. I used to get lots of dirty looks and snide or rude comments from complete strangers in public places. After changing my attitude (I now smile, say "that's okay" when they cut me off in the grocery isle, or just say "Hi, how 'you doin' today?"), I get more smiles and end up in more friendly conversations with perfect strangers than I ever imagined. I owe it mostly to my wise mother who seems to get smarter as I get older. She said that you get what you give. She is soooo right.

This way too long already--and rambling. I'll be back very soon--if anyone is out who cares. Writing is theraputic but mine is not so interesting as so many blogs out there are. I will leave you with one of my favorite "zingers" from Bishop Fulton Sheen (1895-1975).

"A heckler asked Bishop Sheen a question about someone who had died.
The Bishop replied, "I will ask him when I get to heaven."
The heckler replied, "What if he isn't in Heaven?"
The Bishop replied, "Well then you ask him."


the Mom said...

I'm sure that I am one of the bad friends. It sounds cliche, but it truly is me not you. I run full speed all year, then collapse for the summer, regroup and do it all over again. Top it off with extremely tight finances and an unproductive job search, and you get stress. Lots of it. My coping mechanism is to curl up into my shell. I'll come back out to play once my life feels a bit more stable. Right now, I'm just hiding from the world. See? It really is me. :-) It's not just something I say.

I, for one, thought your daughter was beautiful at her First Communion. I had no idea you made the dress. Way to go! I'm impressed by your skills and that you had the time to do it.

Good for you that you are reaching out to people and getting positive results. Pick a date to go to the park, and we'll be there, as will most of the Cupe. It's the making a decision that's the hard part.

cathmom5 said...

I did not have any one particular person in mind. I tend to have few friends. When I am in need all I think about is myself. I get sad and then start thinking people are avoiding me. A whole scenario is going through my head about what I should have done or said, what I shouldn't have said or done. Then when someone is not available because of their own "life", I tend to take it personally. That's purely my problem. Then I feel needy. Then I feel stupid. Then I feel guilty and don't know how to talk to anyone so I don't get depressed. It's a vicious circle. Anyway, remember, the phone line works both ways, too. ((Hugs))