Showing posts with label Church humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Church humor. Show all posts

Monday, July 19, 2010

You Don't Want to See Me When I'm Angry

Yesterday, we went to the only second hand bookstore in town. It is the only place in town that sells the paperback series my 13 yo is reading. He begged me for 3 days to go to the shop, and it is too hot out to ride his bike. We went on a quiet Sunday afternoon. I made the mistake of bringing my rambucious 5 yo.

Yes, he is high energy. Yes, he can be loud. Now, really I thought we were going to a book store not a library. I led him to the miniscule kids' section to look at kids books. However, he was not interested in used Elmo or chewed-on alphabet books. He took me on a tour of the "Historical Romance" section, which is like a mini maze. He was a little loud and I shushed him a couple of times. I stopped to see if I could find an author whose books had been adapted to movies I've enjoyed. After about 2 minutes looking at the alphabetically arranged shelves, I could not find her. I heard my 5 yo being lound again. I turned the corner to see him oohing and aahing into the floor fan, and laughing. I've enjoyed that myself, in the past. The sour look on the clerk's (maybe owner, not sure) face, made me shush him again. I picked up a book in the "new" books section that I was interested in and browsed the inside of the cover. Then my son talked into the fan again and I asked him to stop. He trotted over to my 13 yo and talked rather loudly exclaiming over the pictures on the covers in the comic book section. Then the clerk said, shaking his head, "He's gotta go. He's gotta go." While boiling inside, I put the $13 book, that he apparently didn't care to sell to me, back on the shelf, took my son by the hand, and walked out. I started the car because it was 98 degrees out and I wanted to start the AC. I didn't want to disappoint my teenager, so I walked back in, with the car running, and handed him some money. I looked straight into the clerk's face and said, "We won't be back," and walked out.


Really? My 5 yo was what? Disturbing the one other customer in that tiny shop? To offend the homeschooling mother of 5 kids is not a very smart business practice when you're a book store constantly on the brink of bankrupcy is it? For heaven's sake, we were in his precious shop for less than 5 minutes. Apparently, he doesn't actually need business.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Smellin' Good!

We've had a long week of vacation bible school, with all the kids running and jumping and getting all sweaty.  When we got home it was time for a little relaxation.  My five year old sat next to me as we enjoyed a few minutes of television before bed.  Well, he lifted his arm and said, "Smell my arm pit."  I made a face and said, "Ew, I don't want to smell that."  At which, he ran out of the room.  I chuckled and went back to my program.  The next thing I know, he's back and says, "Now, smell."  I could smell the scent of his teenage brother's deodorant waft through the air.  I almost fell off the couch laughing so hard.  Aren't kids wonderful?

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Handmotions is Heaven

I had to share this. It is so funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTfrqAqShfQ&feature=related

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Church Bulletins

They're Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2006 Release).
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'.