Change

Do you ever have a problem with change?  I like adventure and I like change--normally.  However, once you're over 45, change comes much too quickly.  When do I get to sit and take a breath.  Almost never.  I am constantly exhausted, I have no time or money for my own pursuits, and I only have casual acquaintences.  (Good friends you can talk to about anything, just to get it off your chest.  Wish I had one or two of those; I think I would be going a little less crazy if I did have a good friend in my life.)

Right now, I am gearing up for another big change in my small world.  I am going to be moving from 1st grade to 2nd grade Religious Education.  I am sooo looking forward to it, but I am also quite nervous.  I've gotten into a comfortable routine of prayers, songs, stories, and crafts in my 1st grade class.  Just about the only thing I have to do is make copies of things for Sunday.  Now, I get to have the excitement of planning and anticipation for my 2nd grade class.  I love to find the little extras or some little story that will make the dry material in our books come to life for the kids.  My favorite part is the planning. 

However, sometimes that anticipation and love of change, gets me in trouble.  I have to have patience and remember to deal with what is going on now.   I still have 5 more Sundays of 1st grade RE to deal with.  I have two more classes for my advanced Catechist certificate.  My oldest is being confirmed in less than a week.   I have at least 2 more months of school to teach.  History Day is coming up, quickly (April 1st).  I have meetings and events with the Catholic War Veterans to attend.  I have a house to keep clean, laundry to do, and bills to pay.  I have no idea when I am going to write those books--one of which was going to be for my 15 yo when he was a toddler.  My ideas float around in my head but never seem to make it to paper.  I am trying not to crush my own dream by facing the reality that I may not be a writer--I always hear the "a writer writes" motto (one of my college professors) floating in my head.  I really want to be a teacher and a writer.  I feel like a failure at both right now.  And, I have no time to stop and "smell the roses."