Pun intended

I stole these but I just had to pass them on.


1. I went to a seafood disco last week. and pulled a mussel.

2. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was great.

3.. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."

4. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were
nothing to look at either.

5. Patient: "I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

Doctor: "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

Patient: "Is it common?"

Doctor: "It's Not Unusual."

6. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you", says
Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

7. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. It sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat
it too.

8. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why,"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer."

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.

And #1 Top Ten Worst Puns for the week is.
10. And finally, there was a person who sent 10 different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least 1 of the puns would make them laugh. No
pun in ten did.