Pun intended

I stole these but I just had to pass them on.


1. I went to a seafood disco last week. and pulled a mussel.

2. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was great.

3.. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."

4. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were
nothing to look at either.

5. Patient: "I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

Doctor: "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

Patient: "Is it common?"

Doctor: "It's Not Unusual."

6. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you", says
Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

7. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. It sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat
it too.

8. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why,"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer."

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.

And #1 Top Ten Worst Puns for the week is.
10. And finally, there was a person who sent 10 different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least 1 of the puns would make them laugh. No
pun in ten did.

The History of Father's Day

by Cheri Sicard

While many people believe that Father's Day is a holiday invented by the fine folks at Hallmark, it's not so. The celebration of Dad's special day can most likely be credited to Mrs. John B. Dodd, of Washington State, who first suggested the idea of the holiday in 1909.

Mrs. Dodd's father, civil war veteran William Smart, was widowed when his wife died in childbirth with their sixth child. Despite the obvious hardships, Mr. Smart proceeded to raise the newborn along with his five other children, by himself.

It wasn't until Sonora Dodd became an adult that she realized the strength and selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent. The original date chosen for the holiday was June 5, Mr. Smart's birthday, however the celebration was postponed until June 19, the third Sunday in June, because there was not enough time to prepare.

At about the same time in various towns and cities across America other people were beginning to celebrate a Father's Day. Some accounts credit Mrs. Charles Clayton of West Virginia, as the founder of Father's Day, although most histories give credit to Mrs. Dodd.

In early times, wearing flowers was a traditional way of celebrating Father's Day. Mrs. Dodd favored the red rose to honor a father still living, while a white flower honored a deceased dad. J.H. Berringer, who also held Father's Day celebrations in Washington State as early as 1912, chose a white lilac as the Father's Day Flower.

In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father's Day, but it never became official until 1966 when President Lyndon Johnson signed the presidential proclamation that set aside the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day.

What do you believe in?

"Tell us straight that you do not believe in the Gospel of Christ; for you believe what you want in the Gospel and disbelieve what you want. You believe in yourself rather than in the Gospel."

~St. Augustine
http://faithofthefatherssaintquote.blogspot.com/

Talk about a Bad Day

Today I lost my cell phone. It was so annoying to not know where I put it down. It was annoying that I didn't have it when I left the house with kids there. It was annoying that all I could think about was where is the darn thing!?! Well, I found it about 12 hours after I lost it--at a store I frequent. But, of course, it had become someone's object of getting their kicks. The phone was in the office but some one destroyed it. No pictures, phone numbers, wall paper, camera was spared. Thank you so much to the person who delighted in destroying my phone. I hope you enjoyed yourself. I hope you never have to experience your children's tears when they realize their irreplaceable pix are gone. I hope I can find a new phone with easily downloadable pix. But I don't think I can replace all of my numbers easily either--like my son's pediatric endocrinologist's (diabetes doctor) beeper and his nurse/wife's cell phone number; or my traveling husband's cell phone number--I have to wait until he calls me and write it down. I will have to wait for my mother to call me--I don't have her cell phone number memorized or written down. I had other friends and family phone numbers that will take me weeks to reconstruct. Like I didn't have enough to do. Well, I have to take a deep breath and let go now. How much will this cost us?

27 [Jesus said,] "But to you who hear I say, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 To the person who strikes you on one cheek, offer the other one as well..."
Luke 6